Why Sensitivity Is a Strength - and why autistic, ADHD, & other neurodivergent traits are human animal traits

 

What is sensitivity? And when has your sensitivity shown itself as a strength?

 

Empathy for diverse beings, and being ethically sensitive, are areas where I have especially credited and appreciated my own sensitivity and that of the kindred spirits who tend to find this website.

 

However, the more I have explored my sensitivity towards others, and gotten beyond it to really learn about their sensitivity, the more I realize that every being is uniquely sensitive.

 

You all notice, know, and feel things very deeply that I can’t even sense at all. We can all learn from one another’s special ways that we perceive… including the different things that bother and delight us (that we have a strong reaction to).

 

While each one of us is tuned to picking up on different information, it’s also true that some are wired to process things more intensely overall. In other words, we have higher sensory processing sensitivity.

 

The 15-20% of humans set with the highest sensory processing sensitivity have been termed highly sensitive people. Animals can have higher sensitivity for their species, too!

 

So… is it a strength? Is it a weakness? Well, is is both, of course!

 

It’s true that we can be more easily stressed or traumatized, and therefore are more vulnerable to mental struggles - as well as some of the types of physical conditions that are most strongly linked to psychological pain. However, we also tend to realize this and may offset the risk by trying to put ourselves in safer, more shielded situations that are less likely to trigger so much overwhelm.

 

Our inner worlds may feel especially rich, shaped by vulnerability, and that can hone our ability to be highly sensitive towards others.

 

Your sensitivity may draw you to creativity, detail-oriented study, closeness with nature, helping or caregiving, spirituality, or healing with those around you.

 

And yes, we often have felt misunderstood.

 

In my personal perspective, here are 7 examples of ways that our sensitivity can conflict with what much of society wants us to be:

 

We may socialize in a unique, personally authentic way, instead of following the expected patterns of how to talk or relate.

We may develop passionate niche interests that deeply speak to us. Our range of what we love can seem selective, alternative.

Our strong reactions to the world around us can give us more of a need to customize our environment to maintain calm.

We grow more dependent on the specific routines that ground us. Fixed in our favorite ways, we may need help shifting gears or coping with a sudden change.

We tend to move our bodies differently — fidgeting, pacing, playing with objects, or repeating words—instinctively finding ways to stay regulated.

We fail to focus on boring stuff. Focus flows to what's meaningful, emotional, or alive. Restfully tuning out, we engage deeper with some details whilst other details escape our attention.

We may seek continual stimulation and connection through energized talking or spontaneous behavior that is beyond what's expected.

 

Okay, so get this: In today’s world, those first 5 traits that I described are used to assess for autism. 6 and 7 describe ADHD.

 

My list above loosely matches the DSM-5, a manual of disorders. However, unlike the DSM, I used words that capture these traits in an appreciative light — not as "symptoms," but as strength through diversity.

 

And yes, strength through sensitivity!

 

Autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and other types of what we're now calling neurodivergence... they are all correlated with being highly sensitive.

 

These conditions have also carried more of a stigma than just being sensitive.

 

So, I think that by de-mystifying and celebrating these ways of being, we can better uplift the repressed sensitivity in all of us — and unlock hope for a gentler world.

 

Autistic and ADHD traits are human traits. While the vast majority of humans do not have these traits to a strong enough degree that it makes sense for them to call themselves autistic or ADHD, even neurotypical people are socially unique, attentionally unique, and so on.

 

Being more aware and embracing of neurodiversity can make us all more whole human beings.

 

It could also help us become more supportive of nonhuman animals. Because one of the top ways that humans justify atrocities against animals is, “They can’t think like we do.” So what? Animals have their own ways of sensing the world, and their own unique thought and feeling processes that are rich and immersive for them.

 

For anyone reading this who thinks you might be neurodivergent, I want to talk about the pros and cons of professional diagnosis.

 

Okay, fine, I’m mostly talking about the cons. There are pros, and you can read more about that elsewhere. The point I want to make is that autistic and ADHD minds existed long before doctors started labeling them. I don’t think it’s fair for doctors to gatekeep us understanding and proclaiming who we are.

 

You don’t suddenly become valid after paying to be inspected.

 

The premise that we have to be evaluated to prove how our minds work reminds me of ways animals are treated — like subjects of human curiosity, classification, and control.

 

Non-diagnosed autistic and ADHD people can often tell that they're a part of one or both of these communities, simply through learning about them over time, and encountering others like them.

 

For some, self-discovery alone can feel more empowering than seeking one doctor's or one’s clinic's opinion — which will always be limited anyway.

 

Also, self-discovery encourages self-trust! And self-trust is something we've had stamped out of us too much already. We’ve grown up with minority minds in a society that expects neurotypicality making us constantly doubt ourselves. It’s time we take back our confidence in ourselves.

 

As for whether these are “disorders,” a lot of our autistic and ADHD struggles really do come from pressure — pressure to live up to standards that aren't necessarily healthy, reasonable, or the one right way.

 

For example, human lives haven't always been so artificially structured. You haven’t always had to work x hours every week to make y dollars to survive “independently.”

 

For much of human history around the world, productivity was not expected to be so linear. Work and family were not separate.

 

Imagine a society that is slower-paced, more nature-attuned, and more welcoming of diversity. Societies can also be more collective in the sense that everyone contributes what they can, everyone takes what they need — that way, neurodivergent humans, and those with any type of disability, don't wind up homeless simply for doing their best and contributing uniquely like everyhuman else.

Modern technology can also be extra disruptive to the sensitive, making us feel as if it’s something wrong with our brains instead of wrong with our environment.

 

Personally, I developed what is now being described as “gaming disorder,” where I couldn’t step away from online games well enough to really rock my real life, and I also developed unhealthy sleep habits that would not have even been possible in a world before screens and artificial light. Rewiring these habits has taken back a fair amount of my functionality.

 

Now let’s talk about jobs. As a young adult, I struggled to be motivated to get a job. Most employment opportunities seemed stressful, misaligned, and indignifying — such as taking the bus to go work at a crowded corporatey grocery store that sells dead animals and wants all the redundant sales tags to be perfect.

 

But while I might have been a defective 9-to-5 worker under capitalism, imagine if my "work" could have consisted of watching a few children, picking berries, and serving as some kind of village healer or historian, given my knack for writing and meditation.

 

You can start to see how an autistic ADHD person like myself might seem more functional in the right environment.

 

In this sense, highly sensitive folks help to expose the imbalances of modern living. Imbalances that probably aren't serving any of us. And that's kind of cool! 

 

Think of it this way:

 

Is it wrong to have a different way of socializing, moving, engaging in interests, sensing the world, or forming routines? Imagine an animal who walks, trying to fix one who swims. Both are important to the ecosystem.

Is it bad to be less in sync with societal norms, but extra in touch with your sensitivity?

What if you were wired for creative richness, instead of speed?

 

The neurodiversity movement helped me recognize that while my deeply impressionable mind finds socializing and everyday life complex, for every weakness I have a power. I'm as brilliant and "disordered" as the next person, and my challenges are good for me.

 

So whether you're very sensitive like me, or whether you have a steadier, less reactive nervous system (which is also a tremendous beautiful strength and very needed in this world), I hereby give you permission to be yourself!

 

Like a lot of divergent humans, I learned to unconsciously hide any tendencies I had that would be labeled weird. This caused stress, confusion, and burnout.

 

It helps now to understand that the majority of humans really are more wired for fitting in than I am. Self-adjusting to norms doesn't feel quite so painful, so forced, for many neurotypical people.

 

Reducing how much I'm hiding, and finding ways that I can live more by my own rules and rhythms, does wonders for my health.

 

Autistic ADHD liberation, in my late 20s to now 30s, has felt similar to my earlier transgender girl journey of escaping a traditional male gender role. My femininity was a perfectly natural, acceptable part of me, and so was my sensitivity. Feeling more like my true self, I found freedom!

 

Contrary to a misconception, autistic people are not necessarily less empathetic or emotionally intelligent. While some autistic people agree with that description, others exhibit the exact opposite: hyper-empathy, even acting like accidental therapists to those around them...

 

Furthermore, many autists simply relate better to fellow autists, ADHDers, and other like-minded folks. We might be a little weak at understanding neurotypical people, but neurotypical people are also a little weak at understanding us. Some autistic people, I'll add, certainly excel at having concern and empathy beyond just the fraction of sentient beings who are human!

 

So, a more accurate way to think of it might be that we all have a combination of social gifts and social challenges. Autistic people simply connect and feel in different ways, different from what neurotypical human society expects.

 

Society got autistic people all wrong.

 

And we got animals all wrong.

 

Maybe you see now why I'm passionate!

 

We were assumed to lack full emotion, true connection, complete inner richness — simply because we're different.

 

So, whether you're neurodivergent, sensitive in your own way, or have a more resilient and steady nervous system... give love to your beautiful way of being, your irreplaceable blend of softness and strength.

 

And please, I hope you will nourish your sensitivity towards people of other species, in this society that teaches us speciesism.

 

We are taught to look down on individuals like chickens, pigs, cows, and fishes. We think we need to, because for so long we have exploited them for our material interests - just as we often have exploited each other. Most of us today enjoy a miraculous degree of abundance and choice, along with nutritional knowledge to have healthy vegan communities. We actually kill a lot more animals than our ancestors did due to consumerism and overabundant lifestyles. As beings who know what it is like to suffer, trying to remove our support for the oppression of animals is the least we can do to make things right.

 

In my own life, I found that my sensitivity to seeing an animal in pain became inseparable from my own autistic transgender girl experience.

 

How could I support harming other misunderstood creatures, when I myself was a misunderstood creature?

 

By "daring to be sensitive," we can build new norms of kindness and create a tipping point for animal rights—just as the tipping points for 2SLGBTQIA+ communities and neurodiversity freed me.

 

Your sensitivity can be a source of ethical leadership, which future generations will thank you for.

 

By embracing who we are, we really can change the world!

 

Thank you for listening to my story. If you're resonating with this and want encouragement to play your part in a kinder world, read on!

 

Reach Me Anytime!